Our church recently celebrated the baptism of eight persons who have committed their lives to Jesus. Here is the life-change story of one of them:
“Before I trusted Christ, I was in a very bad place. I wasn’t happy about anything in my life. I was working in an office that was very degrading, for a boss who daily told me I was stupid and talked down to me like I wasn’t worth the air she breathed. As far as friendships and personal relationships were concerned, I was looking for answers and solutions to fill voids and emptiness in all the wrong places. I got involved with the wrong people and tried desperately to fit in or just feel like someone loved me. My head and heart were so full of darkness that I was often very deeply depressed, and many times had suicidal thoughts. I knew I couldn’t take my life into my own hands, though I wanted to, so I would scream and beg God to just kill me in a car crash. I didn’t want to live anymore. I hated everything about myself and couldn’t stand looking at my own reflection. Every day was a struggle to just get out of bed. I completely stopped taking care of myself because I just didn’t care, and I didn’t believe I was worth fighting for.
I was raised in a Christian home, not perfect by any means, but my mother always had faith and taught us well. I knew Christ was there and the answer, but I was stubborn and kept it at arm’s length. This spring I struggled a great deal financially. It gave me the opportunity to realize that I needed to let things go and give my worries and issues to God and that helped me to start praying. I got a New Believer’s New Testament with study guides. In my daily struggles I learned that I was not in control and that I needed to relinquish my stranglehold on my life to the One who is in control. I gave my life over to Christ. I knew everything was going to be different than it had been in the past.
I have found a new peace and happiness in my life. I no longer totally hate myself. I may not like certain things here and there, but I am a work in progress and part of that is continuing to work on how I see myself. But knowing that I am made without mistake and that no matter who on Earth does or doesn’t love me, I know God always will. No matter what I’ve done in the past, it is all forgiven and He is helping me to learn how to forgive even myself. I stopped turning to vices to fill emptiness and picked up new habits that bring me closer to God.
I find myself drifting away from the people in my life who kept me in a downward spiral. Though I still love them, I know that sometimes you have to love people from a distance to help restore your own soul and to not be dragged back down into those dark, scary places anymore. I am much happier now and I know that though I still struggle with relationships, God has a plan, and I trust His plan for my life. I am much more at peace to let go, trust the process. I have seen God, first hand, put me in places I needed to be in the “right time” and learning to listen to his guidance and direction and to pray. I know that this is only the beginning to a long and beautiful journey as I continue to grow and let the light of Christ shine in and through me.”